Making a Server By Yourself 101
by Spookysauce
Summary: Escapades in setting up a unique private server through short one-shots. Expect random and swearing. Mr. Fluffy, stop hating the human race!
1. Mister Fluffy

**Erm, I run a private RO server… so I decided to write a collection of fanfics about it, since it's a bit quirky in its… extras. Enjoy.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own RO. I own anything else in here though… for the most part.**_

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><p>"Ugh, it's you. What do you want?" asked the undead chicken rudely to a blue-haired Genetic twirling his thin ponytail. The Genetic blinked once, staring at the chicken's nametag strapped onto its back.<p>

"Your name is… Mr. Fluffy?" asked the Genetic, kneeling down to the chicken while trying not to grin or snicker. "That's quite a hilarious name, if I do say so myself. So what exactly do you do?" The undead chicken glared up at the Genetic, scowling with its beak in a way only a dead chicken can.

"I can reset crap, color people crappily, warp to crappy places, and rent crap out. What else do ya want a dead chicken to do, huh, punk?" crowed out Mr. Fluffy rudely to the Genetic, whose Bongun was glaring back at the chicken while bouncing. "And what's up with that guy? He looks pissed at the world."

The Genetic smiled lightly. "Don't worry about him. Metagross is always thoroughly annoyed. It's one of his… quirks."

The undead chicken laughed hysterically, and the Genetic frowned lightly at the chicken's behavior. "You named your Bongun after a POKéMON? Man, that's fuckin' hilarious!"

Metagross - the Bongun, not the flying saucer Pokémon itself - pointed its Gravekeeper's Sword at the undead chicken with a large scowl. "Laugh at me again for my name, _Mr. Fluffy_," Metagross demanded, his voice more venomous than the Dark Lord himself, "and I will make sure I will send you straight back to Niflheim where you belong."

Mr. Fluffy, thoroughly afraid for his little undead life, nodded frantically with his chicken head and glanced up at the Genetic. "So, wh-what d'ya wanna do, mister…"

"Fimbulvetr's my name, Mr. Fluffy," the Genetic responded with a hint of a Yuno accent, "and I would absolutely adore you if you warped my pals and I to the Lighthalzen Bio Lab, if it's fair to send us there."

"Well, the warp to that particular area is a little… weird, Fim-boy," Mr. Fluffy responded, wagging around his wing. "It sends you onto a ledge you're not supposed to go on to outside of the lab, and you need a Laboratory Permit in order to get in the damn place in the first place. I've been trying to get the boss-man himself to change the warp point to inside the lab itself, but, y'know, it's difficult to get a hold of the administrators and game masters on this stupid server."

"Eh, I wouldn't call this server 'stupid', per say," Fimbulvetr stated, rubbing his chin, "but I can go with 'new and inexperienced'. You know the administrator made you all by themselves? Along with setting up the server and testing it? You were beta-ed by the head game master, but were mainly created by the admin."

"Huh," the undead chicken went on. "And here I thought I was just scrapped off the dead end of eAthena's NPC board or something. No one wants rude chickens anymore, anyway."

"Absolutely right!" Fimbulvetr told the chicken with a smile, chewing on the leaf in his mouth while a marionette doll dangled off his head. "Now, you said the Bio Lab doesn't go directly to the Bio Lab?"

The chicken nodded, cocking its head to the side. "Why, ya gonna contact the Warpra Foundation and do something about it?"

Fimbulvetr shook his head. "Not exactly. I'm just going to warp to the Bio Lab myself, find a good starting point, edit the script, and then reset you so it functions correctly! Very exciting, isn't it?"

Mr. Fluffy stared at the Genetic, and Metagross arched an eyebrow towards the confused chicken. "If you are as dense as you seem," Metagross stated nonchalantly, "he simply admitted to you that he is the administrator of this particular server, and that he will reinstate the location of the Lighthalzen Bio Lab for you. He has control over every action you've ever done, _Mr. Fluffy_."

Mr. Fluffy fainted.


	2. PvP Areas

**Erm, yeah. Another fanfic for the collection. Huzzah!**

_**Diaclaimer: Own nothing pretty much. Yeah. Woo!**_

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><p>"Uekie, do you think that map from earlier would make a good player versus player map?" Fimbulvetr asked his evolved Lif homunculus, who was picking at the bits of grass in a field outside of Splendide. Uekie smiled lightly, nodding her head at her master's question. Metagross, however, scoffed, hopping in place as his other two brainless companions sat.<p>

"I find the place to have a nice set-up, however the fact that it's the very top of Thanatos' Tower makes me feel slightly ill," the Bongun admitted, his arms crossed and blue eyes shut. "Suppose a person legitimately reaches that very map and wishes to do battle against the beast itself. The players fighting there may become distracted by this player and kill the Thanatos-MvPing player, therefore killing the poor soul and looting their well-earned treasure!"

Fimbulvetr sighed lightly, flopping onto his back. "That was bothering me too, Metagross. Perhaps I should simply stay with those PvP maps we found earlier. The replicas of those five cities?"

"What about the Bossnia map?"

"I don't even remember what it looks like, honestly," Fimbulvetr stated, eyebrows creased together as his Bongun facepalmed.

"Master, why do I continue to be beside you?"

"I have no idea."

In the end, Fimbulvetr decided that the normal player versus player areas were decent enough, and Metagross had slammed him into Niflheim when he had come to that conclusion.


	3. The Item Mall

**Number three. Oh boy.**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing unless I own it. Makes sense, right? … right?**

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><p>Uekie squeaked loudly at the sound of her master walking into the Item Mall. Metagross only sighed lightly as Fimbulvetr gaped at the scene.<p>

"There's no one here?"

Metagross face-palmed and Uekie mewled lightly, rubbing her head against Fimbulvetr's frilly food cart trailing behind the Genetic. "Yes, Fim," Metagross answered with a sigh, "there's no one here. Does that concern you? No one's supposed to be here."

"But…" Fimbulvetr creased his eyebrows slightly, "but the map is CALLED 'item mall', isn't it? Shouldn't there be SOMEONE?"

"For being an administrator, you're acting oddly silly and unsophisticated in this situation," Metagross stated, picking at his rotting fingernail. Fimbulvetr and Uekie both cringed once the fingernail ripped off his undead skin with a sickening crack, landing on the floor. Metagross glanced at the duo, sighed, and bounced towards the two.

"So, maybe I should make some shops…" Fimbulvetr stated, Metagross sighing loudly and Uekie rapidly nodding her head. Fimbulvetr then left the area after a few seconds, leaving Metagross and Uekie to their lonesome a second time.

Metagross whistled, a talent not many knew the Bongun possessed, and called out, "You can all come out now! He left."

And then at least forty NPCs suddenly crowded the area, pushing each other while doing whatever NPCs do when people aren't watching.

Uekie made a movement suggesting a sigh as the mischievous Bongun shrugged. "I assume this will get Fimbulvetr to actually do something productive. The master has a tendency not to do that, you know."


	4. Admin Poser's Long Winded History Lesson

**Well, this is number four. It kinda explains what all went down with my server… and why it never went up. Heheh… /swt**

_**Disclaimer: I own what I own and nothing more. Sheesh.**_

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><p>A lime green haired Mechanic stood in front of a sign in Prontera where Mr. Fluffy had originally been, writing on the sign with a black sharpie. Metagross arched a rotting eyebrow and shifted his hat to the side before bouncing up to the shirtless individual.<p>

"Excuse me," Metagross spoke, shy Uekie walking beside him in a translucent veil, "but who in all of Rune-Midgard might you be? This server's been shut down thrice already." The Mechanic twirled around, and the Bongun noticed a Smokie around the Mechanic's neck. The Mechanic smirked at the Bongun, who creased his eyebrows in confusion.

"Well, well, well!" the Mechanic spoke loudly, arms on his bare waist. "_You guys_ must be my older brother's pets, huh? Well, his pet and his slave-thing, anyway." The Mechanic arched an accusing eyebrow at the innocent Lif, causing Metagross to growl lightly before the Mechanic pounced up onto the newly-made sign.

"Who exactly do you think you are, defiling the administration's handiwork?" Metagross exclaimed, wielding his Gravedigger's Sword masterfully. The Mechanic's Smokie twirled around it's master's neck and clicked its tongue, quivering in fear. The Mechanic grinned manically at the Bongun.

"Who am _I, _you ask? I am Admin Poser - Poser for short, I'd guess - and I control this server in my older brother's stead," Admin Poser spoke loudly, Uekie nudging herself closer to her overprotective companion Metagross, who stood appalled at the Mechanic's statement. Poser's Smokie grinned, stretching himself out over his master's head.

"You see, Fimmy-kins abandoned this server project a long while ago when he decided that he could make do on his own, so our brothers - the X's, all seven of them - took over this server.

"7X, the oldest of them and a Warlock with a Halloween complex, took charge of administration and said to himself:" Poser coughed, "'We can do better than two servers!'" in the lowest voice Admin Poser could possibly pull off. "So then he split two servers into four, decided that he'd better get someone else to take over, and the X's left.

"Then Nemesis Phatasos - Dickwad - came in and was all like, 'This is dumb, 7X is a queer, I QUIT' and gave the servers to me.

"While I've been in charge, I made pretty signs telling the general public the rules of the server and stuff, since I happen to give a damn about people speaking English in the public chat. **It's not that **_**difficult, **_**people.** **SHEESH!**" Poser cried out in anger, glaring up at the sky. Metagross stared at the Mechanic blankly, and Uekie shuddered in fright.

"… You're…" Metagross gulped, "… you're _all_ brothers of Master Fimbulvetr's? People are related to that air-headed, Yuno-accent-using weirdo?"

"Yeah, why? Don't worry, I'm the youngest. But I have minions named after cards. Like Seven of Clubs, Three of Diamonds, Two of Spades, and Ace of Hearts. It's pretty awesome," Poser stated, then rubbed his head and pulled a cigarette out of his inventory and into his mouth. Uekie cringed at the ashes and scooted behind the bouncing Bongun. "Well, yeah. They're all actually me. I'm a damn good make-up artist, if I do say so myself."

Metagross tilted his head to the side. "It's more intimidating to be there in person, wouldn't you think? Besides, involving yourself with the community of avid MMORPG players is rather… dull…"

Poser shook his head. "It's all about the community and being one with them. If a server lacks people who care, they'll just level and go. Know what I mean? Besides, I still uphold the law around here. It's all pretty much like this: listen to me, and I'll listen to you; don't listen to me, get the hell out."

"Rather strict policy," Metagross stated with a small sigh. "I'm afraid I can't stay here, then. Uekie?"

Poser rolled his eyes. "You know Fimmy-kins is still around, right? I'm just another alias of the original administrator's… along with Nemesis and 7X. By the way…"

Mr. Fluffy clucked by, bobbing his head as he strutted along. He glanced towards Poser, then at Metagross and Uekie, then back at Poser. "'Sup, Leaflet?"

Poser's Smokie's beady eyes lit up, twirling itself into a sitting position on Poser's head ad squeaked happily, waving its leaf in the air. Poser face-palmed. "Go figure, the hen talks to the pets more than the people…"


	5. Grammar Nazis Superimpose Their Victims

**More aRO drama that makes no !^#%ing sense. I kind of realized that Metagross is my main character… what?… but he's no longer on my server as of a few weeks ago. Apparently you need to feed them (or just use pethungry :D), but I kept forgetting too. He hated me, so he's dead now…**

**Also note that I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO WRITE BOTH A CAVE STORY AND SMT: DEVIL SURVIVOR FANFICTION BUT I DON'T HAVE A PLOT FOR A CAVE STORY FANFICTION AND THE SMT ONE IN MY HEAD INVOLVES AT LEAST TEN CHAPTERS AND I'M TOO BUSY WITH HOMEWORK TO DEAL WITH THAT ZOMG ALL CAPS FTW.**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing I don't own.**_

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><p>"So, what's with all of the run-on sentences today?" lime-green haired Admin Poser whispered to Leaflet, who chirped in response. "I mean, did you see that Wanderer that just passed by? Seriously… was that English? Geez…" Poser sat down, Leaflet rummaging into his master's hair while a duo of girls passed by him. Poser, expecting to see some sort of satisfaction in his work of art (AKA the beautiful server he sat in) (that was sarcasm).<p>

"like zomg the otter day I ran into the cutest noob ever!1 n he wuz soooooooo cute! ^^ I just wantd 2 cuddl wit him da whol day, lolz" spoke Passerby #1, a typical Taekwon girl with bright pink hair. Poser's eyes bulged out of his skull at-

"What are you even saying, miss? Don't you know that one of the rule is to speak _English_, not _jibberish_?" exclaimed an Arch Bishop beside Poser, who Poser hadn't even seen beside him. Though her hair was equally as hot pink as the person's she was talking to, the black and pink Arch Bishop palette she wore suited her bobbed hairstyle better than most others.

Poser stared at the Bishop in wonder as the Taekwon violent turned towards the Bishop and prepared to charge, when suddenly the map's PvP was turned on and the Taekwon roundhouse-kicked the poor Bishop in the face. Poser creased his eyebrows and glanced up at Leaflet, who was nibbling on his hair.

"Cheerio, ol' mates! Now, violence isn't permitted on this particular server, so I highly recommend you quickly log off for a few moments while I bide some time away, yes?"

The Arch Bishop tilted her head towards the strange man, the Taekwon immediately logged herself offline, and Poser smacked himself in the forehead. The character's pet sighed, bouncing up and down with his arms crossed.

"I swear, you'll be an idiot until I die a _third _time," stated Metagross, Uekie quietly nodding her head beside him. Fimbulvetr cheerfully laughed, sitting himself beside his brother/alias Poser, who only stared blankly at the Mechanic.

"Don't even start, old man," Poser stated, glaring at the blue-colored Genetic, who only smiled happily between the mysterious Arch Bishop and loud-mouthed Mechanic. After sitting in silence for a short while, Poser stopped glaring and only shut his eyes, leaning against the Sign of Rules behind him.

"I guess jibberish isn't English then, ah, old friend?" Fimbulvetr started up, glancing to Poser with a grin. Poser groaned, turning away from him.

"It's allowed. I guess my policy's a bit… ignorant, you know? … I'm guessing that the hot Arch Bishop chick is an alternate character, too," the Mechanic stated, the Arch Bishop smiling lightly and logging off herself. Fimbulvetr smiled lightly, nodding. "You always did have a thing with matching your characters' colors. That kind of gave away."

Fumbulvetr frowned. "Ah, bullocks. Here I thought being a girl wouldn't have that effect…"

"In any case, welcome back to the world of the living. I kind stole your spotlight in the server, though."

"Bastard."

"Bite me, you Juno faggot."


	6. Mister Fluffy Part 2: PO'ed

**I got bored. And goddamn, do I love my Leaflet.**

_**Disclaimer: I disclaim.**_

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><p>"So, what are the rates for this server?"<p>

"I heard you can identify my stuff for a small fee… so…"

"What's going on here, Mister?"

"zOMG WHERE AM I WHAT IS THIS PLACE ARGHHHHHH"

"How's the server holding?"

"heal plz!1 itemz zeny!1"

"Change my clothes! I might let you peak~~"

"Come here and claim your child-!"

Admin Poser and Leaflet quirked their heads towards a certain crowd of people and animal NPCs, the Smokie chirping with a mischievous grin.

"…the rates are 133700/133700/10..."

"… 20 z or nada…"

"…ask an event GM or the bat next to me…"

"… this is aRO…"

"… fuck off…"

"… fuck off…"

"… hate life…"

"Whoa. Lady, I'm a dead chicken. I ain't making no babies."

The mooing cow beside Mr. Fluffy mooed in a humorous manner, chewing grass while it calmly changed classes of numerous people. Mr. Fluffy clucked, the only chicken-esque thing Mr. Fluffy has ever done.

Poser, curious at the undead chicken's pissed-off-more-than-usual manner, threw himself into and through the crowd, sitting between Mr. Fluffy and the Class Cow.

"What's with the attitude today, Mister Fluffy?" Poser asked with a holier-than-thou smile. Mister Fluffy groaned, ruffling up his feathers and not turning towards the administrator. Poser arched a green eyebrow, slightly confused, until the Class Cow mooed loudly.

"The chicken's - mooooooooo - wings got fried the night before last. I have a - moooooo - feeling it was Warp Cat who gone an' done it," slowly spoke the Class Cow, whose voice drawled on as he continued to change the classes of various player characters. Warp Cat hissed from the other side of Mister Fluffy at the Class Cow.

"I did nyot do nyanything to my precious lil' Mister Fluffyumpkins!" Warp Cat hissed, climbing onto Poser's lap as Leaflet rummaged into Poser's neon hair. "Nyou're nymagining things, you cow! Don't nyou say I did nyanything, nyunderstand, nyou nyincompoop?"

"Alrighty then… Moooooo…"

Mister Fluffy then swatted at a leaf fluttering over his head, and suddenly Poser realized Leaflet was no longer on his head.

"… Leaflet! 'Mister Fluffyumpkins' is already mad at the world, and that was before you started pissing him off. That's it, you're in trouble."

Leaflet had never looked so terrified in its little life.

… He was still freaking adorable, though.


End file.
